Reinventing Yourself Without Losing Your Peace

There’s a space many women experience — but rarely name.

It’s the quiet, sometimes uncomfortable season between who you were and who you’re becoming.

In today’s episode, we’re talking about the in-between — that season of reinvention where clarity hasn’t fully arrived, the old ways don’t quite fit anymore, and you’re not entirely sure who you are right now. It’s not a dramatic transformation story. It’s not the polished “after.” It’s the middle.

If you’re navigating a life transition, identity shift, or subtle personal reinvention in your 30s or 40s, this conversation will help you normalize the discomfort, zoom out, and move forward with calm confidence.

Because growth doesn’t always look bold.
 Sometimes it looks like sitting patiently in the unknown — and trusting who you’re becoming.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Hi. Welcome to the More Than Lucky Podcast. This is the space for women who are choosing change without sacrificing peace. If you're listening to this while moving through your day, I invite you just for a moment to slow your breath. Nothing needs to be solved right now. You're allowed to simply be here. I'm your host, Stephanie Lear. I am not a fixer. I have no professional advice, but I'm here to be with you and share my experience, share what I've learned and am learning. If you're a new listener, thank you for dropping in and joining the chat. For loyal listeners, I know, I know. It's been a while. Three years to be exact. A lot has changed and involved in my life, and I'm sure it has in yours. And I'm so excited to reconnect. This season, I'm excited to take a journey with you that takes a look at the space we are in right now in our lives where our identity is changing, priorities are changing, and so often, so do the relationships we keep close to us. I launched the More Than Lucky podcast during the pandemic partly as an outlet for my voice, but also to share the things that I've been figuring out in life to lower my anxiety, to create peace, to love my body, and build sacred relationships. Each month I will post a couple of episodes. And for my supporters, the More Than Lucky community, I will also send an email once a month with a roundup of what episodes talked about and share additional reflections, maybe some resources and storytelling. Anyways, I'm so excited to be here with you. So let's go. Part of what I want to do on the show is share the things that make an impact for me, things that keep me centered and where I've been able to learn or get inspired. And one of the things for me that I've really embraced with Gabby Bernstein, host of Dear Gabby podcast and best-selling author of The Universe Has Your Back and more recent Self-Help, among others. She's been an inspiration and a teacher for me. I love how she simplifies concepts and patterns of thought in a way that I can understand and helps me create mindful change. So before we get started, I'd like to pause and draw a card from the Gabby Bernstein The Universe Has Your Back card deck. The deck contains nuggets of wisdom and reminders to reflect on. I do this daily on the app on my phone. It's free to draw a card, even if you don't have a membership. So I really encourage you to check it out. But also for each episode I record, I'm going to draw from the physical deck that I have and share how it speaks to me. The art is beautiful, so I will also be sure to share a picture in my monthly newsletter. So let's give this a bit of a shuffle and see what card the universe has for the show today. I'm gonna do a little bit of a shuffle. Let's see, I'm gonna just cut the deck and then I'm gonna pick the one that is on top. And what have we got here? I do whatever it takes to get closer to consciousness. I do whatever it takes to get closer to consciousness. For me, when I read this card, it just it really struck me right away how perfect it was for this first episode, because each of you are here to do whatever it takes. Each of us have been here to do whatever it takes to get a bit closer to that space we really want to be in, that space with peace and joy and happiness. And the willingness that you're pausing, you're giving self time for yourself today to listen, to connect with me on the More Than Lucky podcast. That shows that you're also willing to take the mindful steps for reflection and to connect with yourself. I love it. I do whatever it takes to get closer to consciousness. All right. Thank you, universe has your back deck. So let's get into the topic for today. Today I want to talk about something women experience but rarely name. It's that quiet, sometimes uncomfortable space between who you are and who you're becoming. This is not a dramatic reinvention story. It's not a before and after. This is the in-between. Where clarity hasn't arrived yet. The old ways don't quite fit anymore. And it's a space where it can feel difficult to know who you are. And it was so interesting for me as I prepped, and I'd been working on this the past month, putting some of my thoughts and reflections together. And I started to see this topic come up in a few different places. Um, and particularly, I got an email from Mel Robbins, who hosts a podcast I really like. And she was talking about that in-between space. And part of what she was getting at were some of the little habits and things that can sort of help you feel connected. Um, but for me, it was really fascinating and inspiring to see that this is also an important topic for other women around me. For me, this season of being in between identities and figuring out who I am has created a lot of space for self-doubt. And I realize at times I haven't always had as much faith in myself as those around me. At periods, I felt defeated, stuck, or even unseen as I tried to move in a different direction. At times I felt like I didn't know how to make a choice because I was aware of what wasn't working, but I had no idea what would. You might recognize those teenage feelings of insecurity, confusion, or lack of understanding of how you fit in. Similarly, as teens are unraveling their identity, we find ourselves doing this at other points in our lives. When I was chatting about the topic with my mom, she pointed out how in these times where one area is feeling difficult, that the feeling can spread to other parts of our lives, creating false narratives and really furthering that insecurity within us. And she also pointed out that in those periods, we may also find that our tastes and interests can change, and that we also feel a little uncomfortable as we move away from those things that might have been a key part of our identities. For me, I can think back to my mid-late 20s and my interest and enthusiasm level for my favorite band, you two was changing. I love Bono, Edge, Larry Adam. I love them. And I wondered if I'd be judged for not caring about it so much anymore. When in those younger years, I used to run to the TV when I heard Bono was coming on. So yeah, that was before, you know, YouTube and Instagram, and you could just access whoever you wanted, wherever. But in those moments, I ran because it was precious. But now it changes for me, and I feel comfortable in this new space. I'm clear about what I do love about them. Give me Joshua Tree. But what also I know what feels less interesting or important to me. And now I happily chat about that with people. The other day I was telling my niece how much I love their drummer. And my interest level has changed. And so so did how I decorated my home and how I used my time and my money. And I was okay not going to that concert the last time they toured. Perhaps you've noticed you're moving away from habits. Maybe your interests are changing, or maybe people or certain reactions are no longer serving you. It likely feels uncomfortable because you're moving into an unknown, and that's scary. You don't know how life will look on the other side. You don't know where you might be, what you might be doing, or who you'll be with. Is this sounding familiar? I think this space of experiencing change can feel especially difficult if you have the expectation or feel the pressure to quote unquote get it right. It makes me think of a pendulum effect where we can overcorrect and sometimes be critical of ourselves, only to land eventually in a healthy middle. So to see yourself in transition in that threshold is to have grace with yourself. And occasionally in that transition, in that threshold, you will have moments where you realize and feel affirmed you're moving in the right direction. I recently had one of those moments. It was really cool. So actually, it wasn't too long ago that I was able to walk away from a situation that was not serving me well. A situation where I knew I wasn't going to thrive in any part of my life if I stayed. For the first time, I made the choice to walk away, set a boundary without having an immediate backup plan. Yes, that's code. I quit my job without a new job lined up. Old Stephanie might have put up a fight or thought she could fix everything. She would have stayed there longer, taking on the burden, wanting to be the savior who would make it all okay. But in this space now, where I am, as I've grown, I've changed. In this space, I can part ways from a situation like that. I can even say thank you. I can even say, I'm sorry this didn't work out without resentment. People in my circle congratulated me on a difficult decision. And the signals continued to show that I had done the right thing. For me, the big change here is my self-worth and my self-respect. Which have come a very long way. It plays a huge role in this new version of myself. And in that moment, when I had that relief, I felt the weight off my shoulders. It was like I could see old Stephanie cheering me on. So excited for this confidence and faith. If you're here, and thank you still for being here. There's a good chance you recognize this feeling. You know what I'm talking about. You might even be in this in-between space with me. Feeling like you're trying to figure it out. This time of transition in our lives, it happens in years, not months, not weeks. And it comes in spurts. And it happens multiple times in our lives. The internal shift can create an uncomfortable feeling, but it brings the opportunity to get to know ourselves again. And the world, well, it doesn't always give us the language or permission for feeling safe and comfortable of being in that in-between space, that threshold. And we're often taught that uncertainty means that something is wrong. That if we don't know what's next, we're failing. But what if that wasn't true? And what if this space isn't the problem? In many spiritual traditions, there's an understanding that transitions are holy. That not knowing is not a weakness. It's a threshold. I'll repeat that. Not knowing is not a weakness. It's a threshold. The space between who you were and who you're becoming isn't empty. It's alive with opportunity. It's where the truth starts to whisper instead of shout. And you start to hear the nudges. If you're feeling impatient with yourself, if you're tempted to rush toward answers, or to recreate the old version of you just because it was familiar. I want to offer you this reassurance. You are not behind. You are not wasting time. You are listening. You are not behind. You are not wasting time. You are listening. Each episode the season, it will include a small gentle practice. Not homework, not a checklist, just an invitation. Something you can return to if it feels supportive. This week's practice is called the identity pause. Once a day, maybe in the morning or before bed, maybe while you're in the car. I invite you to ask yourself, who am I trying to be today? And who do I actually want to be? Who am I trying to be today? And who do I actually want to be? You don't need a perfect answer. If you're a journaler, maybe write a few sentences. Or for all of us. Just taking that moment and notice what comes up. And then take one slow breath. And quietly say, I don't need clarity today. I need present. This season of your life doesn't need to be explained yet. It doesn't need to make sense to anyone else. Becoming is not a performance or a race. It's a relationship with yourself. And I'm here with you. Before you go and you start the next thing today, I encourage you to just take a moment, pause, and notice what stayed with you today. You don't need to do everything that we talked about. Maybe trying one small thing to connect with yourself and your presence for a moment. That's enough. Trust that your life is responding to your attention. Stay connected with me. Thank you for being here. New series, new episodes. I would love to hear your feedback. I would love to hear what stood out for you, what connected. You can email me at more than luckypodcast at gmail.com. The link is in the notes. Or shoot me a DM on Instagram, more than lucky.podcast. Look for the purple. I would love to hear what stood out. I'm so excited to hear from you. Earlier, I also mentioned that there is an opportunity to support the show. So for a small fee, you can subscribe. You'll receive the bonus newsletter that shares some summary and some reflections. And then for the supporters, I'll also share that email with them with the reflections and additional storytelling and some resources and a little wrap-up for the month. This month, the email will also include an additional story I mentioned earlier that talks a little bit about that moment I had the realization that I wanted to be a different version of myself and what really led and inspired me towards a version that was softer and kinder. Thank you so much for being here. I hope this landed with you. And I'm so glad that we can do this together. There will be another episode out in a couple of weeks. And in the meantime, I'll definitely be watching the emails and DMs for your comments. And I look forward to seeing you next time. Bye.